Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I
send? And who will go for us? ”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Sunday afternoon sitting in the hammock by the lake
reflecting on my upcoming trip to Kenya with Amber. It seems so crazy but the tickets are bought
and we leave Thursday. This morning
Wayne and I sat in the sun by the shore and attended worship via my iPhone with
the church in Norfolk VA, we will be traveling with. Amber attended from home in MA. The sermon spoke to my heart because he was
saying we don't have to have all the answers when we are called. I have felt called to go on this trip but I
have no answers to the question why. The
uncertainty leaves me both excited and anxious.
Some days I'm not sure I even believe there is a God yet I believe God
is calling me to go back to Kenya. My
dream had been to stay home this year spending sunny days lakeside. I don't understand how I can question the
existence of God yet travel half way around the world because I believe I'm
called. It's just crazy that's all.
I'm sitting in the same hammock where I wrote what I was
going to say at my friend Karen's funeral several years ago. Can I really feel her in the breeze? It's like she is close. She had a deep faith. Maybe she is trying to
tell me to trust, to believe, that it is true.
I know in my life I have done things before that seemed
crazy - taking a graduate class at Lesley University on a whim that led to my
career as an Assistive technology specialist - resigning as chairperson of the
deacons, which led me to Anajali ministries and Kenya - transferring after my
freshman year of college from a school I loved to the University of New
Hampshire, where I met the man of my dreams.
Life's crazy turns have been good to me. Here we come Kenya.
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